I was the mother. I heard my little chicks chirping, crying
for food. The three of them sitting in the nest, high up in the tree.
The ground was covered with the rich color of the brown pine
needles. It was smooth and had lots of space between the trees. There was a sense
of peace and beauty in this natural order so inviting you wanted to roll on the
earth. Around us was the luscious green of so many leaves enriched by the
nutrients of the sun. I knew the sky was not far away. I could see rays of
sunlight between some of the branches reflecting off of the leaves.
My son cried to me. “I know the nest is a bit of a mess. I
keep helping support it by breaking apart and adding the twigs that fall. The
nest is strong, but I cannot fly. Please feed me. Please feed me. Won’t you
support me? Please see my condition. I am doing my best to hold the nest
together. Will you feed me?”
I looked at my child feeling bewildered by the request. I
was glad the nest was strong and uncomfortable with the mess. It churned the
cells inside me making it hard to fly as freely. I knew he was my child and in
his despair I wanted to feed him. I wanted to soothe him and ease his
suffering. He was hungry. I wanted to fulfill my motherly duties yet something
felt strange about feeding him. He did not leave and he did not stop chirping.
Then I remembered I was once a child in this nest hoping he
would feed me. I chirped and I chirped and I chirped. Louder and louder and
louder. Sometimes he would throw me one of the worms from mom. It satiated my
hunger momentarily but was never enough. There were only so many worms he was
getting and only a few he could share or he would starve too. I wanted more and
it was never enough.
It finally occurred to me he is not my mother. He is my
brother. I cannot depend on him for the worms. I must seek it from the Mother. I
must feel it inside. Determined not to ask for worms from my brothers and
sisters anymore, I grew my wings and flew out of the nest.
Now I am looking down at my child as if I am the mother. I
remember now. I am only his sister. He must fly too. I want to fly freely
again. I relaxed and gave him space. “Please join me in the air,” I thought. “Life
is free up here. You can fly. You will not even care to seek worms up here.
There is no hunger, only freedom, joy, love, peace. Divine Mother will feed
you. She can carry your burdens. Relax into her hands and you can go places you
have never gone before. Give her your troubles. Please fly with me. Come into
the light.”
Through meditating consistently and deeply over time, many
friends and I have found more peace within ourselves and our interactions with
others. Yet emotional stirrings come up, and probably will until we become
fully enlightened. When I meditate with full surrender in that moment of
intensity, I often forget what was bothering me by the end of the meditation.
However, sometimes the feelings do not go away or they come up again. In those repeated situations
I wonder if God wants us to play out the karma through our emotional and human
life. Either way, this past weekend in a program called The Gift of Conflict my eyes were opened up to a clear
understanding of other tools and knowledge to utilize to overcome our
agitations.
The first premise to start with is that your outer world
reflects your inner world. You have probably heard the phrase "like
attracts like." Maybe you heard the idea that we manifest or magnetize to
ourselves whatever we think in our head or vibrate in our being. Do you ever
notice how the plants in your home thrive when there is joy and peace in the
home or wither when there is sadness or anger? My indoor plant completely died
when my mother passed away. Maybe you have seen the results of Dr. Emoto's
experiments on how the shape of water molecules changes depending on the emotion
of the word pasted to that jar of water. Researcher Michael Tellinger captivated
me when he showed aerial photographs of many cities and archeological sites
next to circuit boards. They looked exactly the same! So often a microcosm and
macrocosm of the world shows up revealing the interconnectedness of everything.
How many times have you expressed a discomfort in someone's
actions to them and they replied with the same concern about you? I believe we
are all mirrors for each other. There are no accidents. There is always a hint
of truth inside ourselves for anything that shows up in our life.
Through the exercises in The
Gift of Conflict people were repeatedly realizing they were feeling what
their partner feels and their partner was feeling what they were feeling. Even
when people were working with complete strangers the same things came up that
would frequently come up in their lives. At a certain point I started to forget
who was who because we all felt and wanted the same things. It was as if the
others played the role of my voice to reveal something in myself I had not
recognized, accepted, or clarified yet. The next time you want to accuse
someone else of acting in a way that bothers you, ask yourself if there is any
piece of you who acts that way as well.
Sonika and Christian, the couple who lead The Gift of Conflict, stated they never
finalize a decision until both of them are 100% comfortable with the solution
they created. In one of their examples they rolled up a towel and played a tug
of war game while each stated their point of view. Christian had done a lot of
research to find the best website development company to meet their needs. The
price was $10,000. Sonika did not want to spend that much on a website.
They could have kept tugging the towel back and forth
stating their case. Instead Sonika admitted she would like a really good
website as well and Christian realized he would also rather not spend that much
money. They laid the towel out in front of them and put the question in the air
on top of it. Realizing they were both speaking the other's feelings and they
were still in conflict on what the resolution should be, they waited.
Very soon after this discussion a friend of Christian's told
him about a course you can take to choose a good and cheap website developer
from the Philippines. He took the course, hired a guy from the Philippines, and
got a lot more service then just the website for much less money. There was
something in both of them that stayed in confusion because the better solution
had not revealed itself yet. Sometimes coming together, realizing the “we” in
the situation, and being patient can produce even better results than
originally expected.
Knowing all of this means you never need to take the victim
stance nor hold all the blame again. After the weekend ended I was quite
disappointed to realize all the things I needed to work on in myself that I had
complained existed in others. I also relaxed into knowing not everything is my
fault. It takes two to tango. I then had a flash of all the recent moments
people's tone of voice seemed to express anger towards me for something I did.
I all of a sudden had a new sense of love and connection with all of them
realizing they probably want to be able to do what I did as well. Or all they
really wanted was to feel my love and connection with them. We are all so much
more alike than we think. We are all in this game of life together revealing
ourselves through each other.
To take this one step further… I felt my tango partners had
revealed what I needed to work on and it was time to go back to the solo dance.
To work through those inner challenges and raise my vibration. To offer these
challenges up to God. To remember my inner world reflects my outer world.
If we change ourselves we can create the potential to help change
others and magnetize to ourselves an environment vibrating at our new
frequency. Through the butterfly effect, if we heal ourselves, we can heal the
world. Then the whole world is united in one tango dance.
The question often arises, how much control do we have over our destiny; what is predetermined, and what emotions or environmental reactions could we change?
I recently watched the documentary, The Living Matrix, a collection of scientific proof of what really heals a person. Research has determined that a healing treatment works when the person using it believes it will work. Bruce Lipton discovered there is no such thing as a hereditary disease. A child born of different DNA adopted into a family with a history of cancer will often adopt the characteristics of that family and get cancer. When you change the environment of DNA, the genetic code changes. Then they showed a study of when people react to different pictures of varying emotional qualities. They noticed the heart and then the brain start their reaction before the image was even displayed on the screen. Thus revealing a sense of intuition to what is predetermined to happen.
Or maybe we already know if a treatment will work before we do it rather than it working because we believed it would work. Maybe the child that is to get cancer is vibrationally drawn to live with a family matching the same vibration.
On the plane to India, where I am now, I watched a movie called About Time. It is about a young guy named Tim and his father who have the secret ability to go back in time and relive life differently. That was especially helpful to Tim in trying to get a date with a girl. (You may want to skip the rest of this paragraph if you do not want the end of the movie to be revealed.) When his father passed away he advised his son to relive each day twice. The second time he lived each day he could relax and enjoy it a lot more. It was interesting to see what would change and would not change in each repetition of a day. Generally the main structure of the day would stay the same but someone's emotions would change. Sometimes with the emotional change came changes in the structure of the day. Eventually Tim felt he did not need to relive each day. Instead he could live each day as if it was the second time living that day; with relaxation and trust in whatever happens, and the choice to live in joy.
What if we all could live each day as if we already knew what would happen and accept that? Have trust that the mapping of our lives are already laid out but we could change how we feel inside? With that change, everyone around us will also enjoy life more and maybe we could even change the destiny of each moment.
It makes me think of doing kriyas too. This is such a strong meditation technique that it can really change us with each breath. Our inner reaction is no longer affected by what is happening outside. As a result, we may mitigate some of the potential karma we were destined to experience. Maybe the child in a family with cancer can break free from the environmental influence by shifting his/her vibration.
We never really would know what actions shift which circumstances unless we were able to relive each day twice like Tim in the movie About Time. But I have personally noticed the changes in myself and others as we practice kriya yoga. People becoming happier, easier to get along with, more intuitive, more energetic, more aware and alive, and all with glowing faces and eyes.
