Into the Self and Into All, We Become One

Come dance with me.

Come walk the tightrope with me

And fall with me.

Dive into me.

Clear the dust,

See the light.

Whirlpools fly away,

Resistance gone,

The path clears,

Energy flies up to the eye.

Through you I see me 

And we become God.

Energy rise,

Bubble at the point.

Hearts open,

Barriers gone.

Drop in deeper and deeper.

My soul feels you,

My soul loves you.

Embody the Coat or Be Your Naked Self?

Do you want to express where you are or where you are going? Do you want to embody a coat from the outside in or be your naked self?

While watching a dance performance a few months ago, my friend sitting next to me asked me if they were good dancers. After having watched many professional ballet companies from around the world perform my response was, "Well, not as refined as they could be." After taking a breath, I found the following words come out of my mouth, "But then they would not be as natural in their movements." 

After noticing many of the young girls from my ballet studio transform from what they called an "ugly duckling" to a beautiful swan, I have since changed my mind on that response. Once we line up with what we are trying to become, it will become natural.

The ballet dancer who is confident in her/his step, balanced on her toes, and naturally graceful in her movement is a relief to watch. At one ballet performance I noticed myself relax in my seat when the soloists switched from a new company member to one of the most seasoned performers of that company.

At a master workshop a few months ago with a modern dance teacher, he caught me off guard when he gave me the feedback to be more asymmetrical and not to always come back to center. He wanted me to express more of what really happens in life. He took me by surprise because for the last few years my life has only been about coming to and from center, both in ballet and in the spiritual path.

In some of the ballet classes in big cities the teachers advised students not to be so polite or graceful; "be real and let your passions and sexuality out," they would say. Because what do most people want? They want the real you, that is if they can handle it. Then they have energy they can work with to help themselves transform as well. If one is hiding their full self or being fake, there is no connection with other people. I am not saying we can't be polite or graceful, but audiences will feel it if it is true. When you truly feel that, you will take others there with you.

Since then I have been paying attention to people's reactions to different types of dance presentations. I have noticed many people have expressed a great sense of healing from dance that expresses their emotions of the moment. It helps them get in touch with themselves, understand themselves, express themselves, and accept themselves. For someone to be able to display other people's insides is a great skill. The ability for people to connect with themselves right where they are is very healing.

“The function of art is more than helping us to “get in touch with our feelings,” as the popular expression goes. It is to help us to refine those feelings.”—Swami Kriyananda, Art as a Hidden Message 

Every once in a while I used to drive all the way from Nevada City, CA to San Francisco, CA (about 3.5 hours away) early on a Saturday morning just to take a dance class that offered the opportunity to fully feel and express my present reality. It released all of the emotions I was feeling better than anything else I was doing at the time. Any stuck energy was moved and disappeared.

There is so much more than words can communicate and the mind comprehend. Yet the movement of the body can flow through the full spectrum within us. Leaving an experience that gets me to the heart of presence empties me out so I become clear, strong in myself, and a blank slate ready to move in any direction from there.

And where would one want to move from there? First, with full understanding of where and what we are working with, we can make choices of what we may want to shift. We can shift our emotions or behaviors by shifting the quality of our movement. 

If our movement tends to be soft because we are passive, we can consciously move with more firmness until it happens without thinking. If we tend to move in curved lines and have trouble achieving goals in life, maybe we want to practice moving in straighter lines. 

Besides the desire for balance, it is helpful to have the ability to cultivate all qualities of movement and character. This way we have choices in life to call on what we need to meet any moment.

Transformation of body alignment and the way I move has been so helpful for balancing out my emotions and giving me more options for handling life. There is an even greater more lasting joy that comes from adding a spiritual dimension.

There are specific body movements we can do to generate a more spiritual feeling. If we feel sad, raise our arms up and uplift our energy to uplift our consciousness. If we feel tired maybe our energy has been too scattered going outwards or being defined from the outside. In that case we can try to move from the base of the spine and up from there as if mimicking how we channel our energy in meditation. 

I would encourage one not to even stop there. Dancing is my favorite thing to do yet I have gotten bored or been dissatisfied with the energy of many dance companies and quit over and over again. It never had enough meaning to me.

After a couple years of being serious on the spiritual path, I brought dance into it. I have focused on feeling the Divine presence and dancing for God. I have wished for others to feel God while performing. There is a soft, sweet, and light quality I have never felt before from dance. There is a great love in my heart. It is like being taken to another dimension where you really do feel like you see God and forget you are dancing. 

I have carried this feeling into all forms of dance I have been doing in any environment. All the cares of this world drop away while I go into that true joy within. I have walked out of dance gatherings feeling my energy rising and having my hand stuck to my heart.

This is what I wish for you all; to completely feel the essence of yourself in the moment, to have the ability to transform that as you need to, and to feel the great joy of God.

You can have the opportunity to be guided through such a process August 15-17 at The Expanding Light Retreat in Northern California in a program I am putting together called The Dancer as a Channel: Using Dance and Movement as a Therapeutic and Healing Tool. For more information and to sign up, please visit: The Expanding Light Retreat

“There is in each of us a special song to be sung. None of us is more important, or less so, than any other. Our simple duty is to find our unique song deep within us, and to sing it to perfection. That perfection will come only when we have learned to sing our own soul-song to God, offering back to Him the inspiration of His love.”—Swami Kriyananda, Art as a Hidden Message

Commitment and Freedom: Same or Different?

A couple recent conversations within LoveWorks, a relationship training program, helped me get clear on my relationship with the term “commitment” and its connection with “freedom.” This exploration revealed some enriching ways to view commitment and freedom that I thought would be fun to share.

On a phone call we were discussing the idea of surrender. I asked for someone to explain to me what it is like to continue to surrender over a long period of time. I added I have only been in commitments for shorter periods of time. In response to my question, Sonika, one of the leaders of LoveWorks, suggested I reframe the question to something more uplifting like “What have I been committed to over a long period of time? What have I continually surrendered to?”

Right away I knew I had an answer to that question, God; seeking truth and tuning into God’s will. Many times I have gone into something feeling calm and right about it. Then after a few months, or a few years, felt calm and right about walking away, even if it was hard to leave.

The term commitment can be something fun; what you choose to commit to. It is those things that bring you freedom in the end. 

With continued questioning on the subject, I noticed I still had some hesitations about commitment. I figured that if I fully trust God and myself, those hesitations would go away. Even if challenges do come up, I could trust God is bringing me what I need and that God will help me recover from those blows. Those challenges have resulted in greater growth and expansion that I would not have had otherwise if I hesitated or sat on the sidelines.

I feel a sense of freedom when fully diving into a commitment. It kind of has the thrill of bungee jumping. Once you jump off of that platform or bridge, you have no choice but to trust. You have an idea, or a hope, of where you will end up, but you do not really know until you get there.

It is much easier for me to go into something that is a non-moving target. There is something to dive into; something that stays fully present as I dive deeper and deeper.

Once I have chosen what to commit to, I can be fully present with what is happening rather than divert attention to the process of deciding. More can be accomplished and more creative energy unleashed when that focus is there. I can have the freedom of not needing to think about other options.

Commitment causing focus, reminds me of Arjuna’s archery training. Arjuna is a character from the battle of the Mahabharata, and he symbolizes fiery self-control. His instructor Drona, who symbolizes habit, was challenging his students to strike off the head of a bird seated on the branch of a tree. He asked his students what they saw before releasing their bow. A typical answer was, “I see the bird, the tree, the passing clouds.” Drona knew they would all miss and he was right.

When it was Arjuna’s turn he responded saying he saw the head of the bird. Drona asked him if he saw anything else. His reply was, “Nothing else! Only the head of the bird.” Drona told him to release his bow. Arjuna was the only student who hit the target. He was fully committed to the task at hand. None of his focus swayed towards anything but his target, and thus he could accomplish his goal.

Commitment does not mean that you have to stick to just one thing either. If you are in a time of seeking it could hinder your progress to tie yourself down to one path. My life had been so focused on attaining goals that I had a hard time when I decided to backpack around the world for a year. Then I realized I could make a commitment to not having a plan. My commitment was to let the universe guide me in each moment. Having that clarity and direction gave me a sense of freedom.

When we resist commitment for the sake of wanting freedom, we actually are not free because we are in resistance or avoidance. We feel tension in our bodies. One woman described how her son is so afraid of commitment that when trying to make summer plans he keeps avoiding making commitments and then ends up having to do nothing.

When we make commitments that are lined up with God’s vision, there can be a greater freedom due to being in flow with the Divine. When you feel stuck in a commitment that does not feel nourishing, ask God to feed you. Ask God to direct you. Ask God to help you rise above these challenges and feel his light.

What happens on the material plane of life does not matter as much as what happens on the spiritual plane. It is through where we place our consciousness that true lasting joy comes. In the Bhagavad Gita Krishna (who symbolizes God) tells Arjuna, “What you relinquish on the material plane you will rediscover a thousand times more wonderfully in God.” A feeling of bondage can come with committing to the things of this world, but a sense of delight to committing to the gifts God gives us.

If you enjoy these types of explorations, you can join the relationship program called LoveWorks or my Bhagavad Gita study group that meets on Monday nights in Grass Valley, CA. For more info on the Gita class, see the description for Voyage of the Sacred Texts.

To understand more about the Bhagavad Gita and the Mahabharata, you can read the book The Essence of the Bhagavad Gita: Explained By Paramhansa Yogananda, As Remembered By His Disciple, Swami Kriyananda.

 

Energy Dance - Surrendering to God

This past weekend’s Energy Dance with Sonika Tinker and Christian Pedersen started with the video above. Right away it reminded me of the days I used to dance with a partner. I was never that trained, nor that courageous, nor quite that risque, but I am sure some of our experiences are the same.

You may ask, how can they do that? Well, you can’t think about it. Of course you have to focus on what you are doing but there is no space to question trust and if it is possible. 

I remember I used to run and jump on my partner while we were creating pieces without either of us knowing what would happen. I never used to think about it. I would just do it and let happen what happens. In reality, I knew he was not 100% trustworthy because he was still human and had injuries. Yet I trusted the divine that somehow it would all work out. We only ever fell once and did not get injured.

In that process of trust and openness, I was always amazed at what physical feats I would overcome and what we created. Coincidentally, after I got home from this past weekend I opened Elisabeth Haich’s book Sexual Energy and Yoga to the section where she talks about what it feels like to channel all of your sexual energy into creative energy:

“When a circus acrobat performs superhuman feats during his act, he experiences high spiritual rapture and joy. It is a well-known fact that some acrobats who risk their lives and those of their assistants during their act live ascetically like monks. The pleasure and thrill experienced in their performances is infinitely greater than in a brief sexual encounter.”

That must explain why some of my performances were the most thrilling thing I have ever done I my life!

Another piece of trust in this type of partner work is doing your part. You cannot always guarantee your partner will be able to perform their role or will get their hand onto your foot at the exact right timing. You can have trust that God will keep you safe. But you still have to stay focused and do your part to your best ability to make it easy and possible for your partner to execute their part.

These were such great reminders of my potential to have that trust and surrender. After watching I thought, “Wouldn’t it be great if I can apply these principles to daily life and to my meditation practice!?” 

• To not think so much, but just follow my inner guidance and trust it,
• To channel my energy into the creative process and overcoming human limitations,
• And to do my part to the best of my ability, and trust the rest will happen as desired by the Divine.

Paramhansa Yogananda said the path to fully realizing God within ourselves takes 25% of our effort, 25% from the blessings of our Guru, and 50% from the grace of God. But we must put 100% of our effort into that 25% in order for the whole system to work.

Wouldn’t it be great if we can just relax into our role in life and let God take care of the rest?

For fun, here are a couple of my past partnering salsa dances:

To skip the MC's intro talk, start this video at 2 minutes:

Go On Alone

The words "Go On Alone" seem to be one of the themes coming up for me recently. I was just reminded one of Swami Kriyananda’s last requests for Crystal Clarity Publishers before he passed away was to put the book A Place Called Ananda back in print with the title Go On Alone: A Struggle Between Personal Integrity and Group Conformity. That concept can have many layers. The layer I have been focusing on is how to play your part as an individual to better support the collective whole.

In choir practice the other night our leader had us close our eyes while we sang. We were all amazed to hear how much better we sounded when we had to tune in more deeply on our own instead of just following the choir conductor. While sounding like one unified sound, you could also hear each part more poignantly.

I remember when I used to perform dance pieces without music and without the ability to see all the dancers at once. We only had our breath and attunement to the group rhythm that we had previously established. While harder, it always felt more harmonious and connected with the other dancers and myself. I could feel my soul vibrate more deeply.

In the last year and a half both my spiritual guide, Swami Kriyananda, and my mother have passed away. In the absence of their physical presence, sometimes I felt at a loss of a protective shield of love.

I did not want to give up on that feeling. So I turned inwards to feel them deep inside of me. I have realized their energy is still alive. I might just need to dig a little deeper to find it. Their energy is a piece of God's love and that always exists. Even though I have had to walk alone without them in the body, I am still not alone.

I have noticed times when I leaned on outside sources, such as a partner or even Ananda. When I allowed my happiness to depend on their actions or feelings I was not as happy as when I sought it inside myself.

I like that Ananda's two main theme songs are Many Hands Make a Miracle and Go On Alone. It is helpful to have a good environment around us. With a group, our actions can have much more impact and others can help keep us aligned. Yet where would the group be if we did not put effort forward as each individual and try to tune in ourselves? One of my counselors at Ananda often likes to tell me, “A group is only as strong as its weakest link.”

When Swami Kriyananda passed away one of my first thoughts was, "What is next? What does Swami want to happen now?" Swami had such great magnetism that it was effortless for many of us to attract people to share our teachings. Now without his direct impact in the body I have found it helps to both walk alone to find that depth within myself and join hands with others to support each other.

During Swami Kriyananda’s last summer in the Village he suggested we all become Swami Kriyananda’s. I think he was preparing us to take that next step without him in the body. I think that is a message for anyone on any path; to realize inside our own selves what inspires us on the outside.

Go On Alone by Swami Kriyananda

Sample track from the album Windows on the World

"Walk like a man, even though you walk alone.

Why court approval, once the road is known?

Let come who will, but if they all turn home,

the goal still awaits you: Go on alone!"

Many Hands Make a Miracle by Swami Kriyananda 

Sample track from the album I Came From Joy!

"Many hands make a miracle:

Let's all join hands together!

Life on earth is so wonderful

When people laugh and dance and

Struggle as friends,

Then all their dreams achieve their ends." 

If you would like to read the current version of the book A Place Called Ananda, click here.