The Dance Into Divinity Blog Has Relocated

Dear Friend,

This blog has been relocated to my website. To subscribe and read more posts, please visit: http://www.avitalmiller.com/#!blog/c1qqv

Thank you for continuing on this journey with me.

Love,
Avital

Why I Started Reading Tarot: Little Miracles After My Mother’s Passing

​Up until the final days of my mother’s life, she continually expressed her wish for the family to be more connected. In December of 2012, during a weekend seclusion, I was meditating once more on my white bed before going to sleep. All of a sudden I felt love pouring out of me for my mother in a way I had never felt before, and felt she was going to die very soon. She had cancer for seven years but I was not told her present condition had a time limit.

The next morning I called my mother and booked a flight to see her in Atlanta. I approached the visit as if it could be my last time seeing her without mentioning that. I did not want to state anything to encourage her passing away any sooner if it was not meant to be. However I did talk with her about the process of dying and shared stories I have heard from people who were pronounced dead yet came back to life. I told her how those people got to visit their loved ones. She said she would like to create some sort of signal so we would know she was there, yet we did not actually come up with one.

During the visit she had a pure carefree child-like joy in her that I had never seen before. She also seemed to become more energized so I thought she was ok and I could go home to California. Shortly after returning home my place of work, Crystal Clarity Publishers, was cleaning out our warehouse. The space was going to be reconstructed into offices and we had to get rid of everything. I came upon a set of angel cards with curiosity and they told me I could keep them.

I took those cards into my annual seclusion between Christmas time and New Years. I still had the premonition that my mother would pass away soon. Thus I used the seclusion time to pray for my mother and for completion in our relationship. Normally I review the previous year but that time I did a whole life review. And I read the angel cards everyday. I kept waiting for a call stating my mother was going soon, especially after I picked the card named Sonya who assures, “I bring you a message from your deceased loved one: ‘I am happy, at peace, and I love very much. Please don’t worry about me.’” That seclusion was a really deep time for me.


Sure enough I got the call late on December 31 and was able to get a flight on January 2. My mother passed away while I was flying. I’ll have to save all of the stories of that adventure for another blog. The funeral happened the next day in Washington DC. Afterwards most of the women in the immediate family and my mother’s partner found ourselves at my aunt’s house. While it was a shock, we thought our time would be better spent doing the things my mother enjoyed like watching her favorite movie, The Frisco Kid. We all remembered how loudly she laughed everytime she saw it. As we went to bed that night my sister asked me if my mother could visit in her dreams. Remembering my mother’s wish to visit us, I replied, “Sure. Why not? Just ask for her to come.”

The next day somehow I got the idea it would be fun to do angel card readings for others. I asked a family member who I thought would be open. She agreed and to my surprise the whole family gathered around to view the reading. Since the reading went quite nicely, my sister asked for one too. She wanted to know what message my mother had for her. She picked three cards and I started interpreting them. As I was speaking she was squirming in her seat. She was always very expressive so I did not think much of it at first. After a few more moments of her anguish getting bigger I asked her what that was about. She said in her dream the night before she saw a man with blue eyes and blonde hair, just like the man on one of the cards she picked. In the dream she asked him his name and it was the same name as that on the card.

After that all the rest of my family members were sold on these angel card readings and had one for themselves. I realized that the cards created a space to open up that would not have happened without their encouragement. We shared deeper feelings and things about ourselves than I had ever noticed us express. It seemed my mother got her wish for the family to be more united and for her to visit us. My family expressed how impressed they were at what an expert I seemed with those cards. Then I let them know I had only gotten those cards a week ago, yet had been offering spiritual counseling for a few years.

I continued to read those angel cards for myself and for friends. At a certain point I wanted more options than what was offered in that 44 card deck and bought a deck modeled after the full 78 card Tarot set. After two more years of doing readings for my friends they told me I should get paid for doing them. Coincidentally I was signed up to teach and perform at a fair where I could get a discount on a booth. I decided to take the dive.

Despite knowing the other readers would have more experience with Tarot, I trusted I had something to offer from being deeply on the spiritual path for over ten years. Since I am not enlightened, I believe any future predictions I make are only based on a possibility from this present moment and the capacity of my consciousness to see. Thus I tried to focus more on offering people guidance to live fully in the current moment than predicting what will happen in the future. I was amazed to see people sit down with strain on their faces and worry in their bodies and walk away in complete relief with a big smile knowing they had an action plan to help ease their current conflicts. I have since signed up to read at more fairs and offer readings in person or long distance through skype. It has been a great gift to offer this service and I hope to continue to do so.

If you would like to set up an appointment with me or find out more about which fairs I will read at, please visit: Tarot Readings with Avital

My Favorite Tarot and Angel Cards:

   

Where is God?: A Yogic Perspective

Isn’t God more than a person? Doesn't God dwell within us? Isn't everything God? These are some of the questions I have been hearing from friends that I thought to address. There is much more that could be shared or elaborated on, but that is what future blogs are for. :)

On my second night at Ananda in 2004 my Yoga Teacher Training class was asked to define “God.” I furiously wrote a page about how I hate the idea of a man sitting in a chair in the heavens judging us and how religion has caused many wars. On the back of the page I wrote about how I prefer to believe in things like peace and love. We were then asked to share what we wrote. I sat quietly because I did not want to share anything negative. I listened, though, to how everyone in the group described the term “God” as concepts like peace and love. My eyes were completely opened to another way of looking at God. With a new understanding of the word God I thought there should be a new word to represent this new concept. For a long time I ignored the word when I heard or read it in the texts of Ananda. After a while I had forgiven and forgotten my old discomfort associated with the word and allowed it to generate a new meaning.

With a primarily Judeo-Christian culture, it is easy to refer to God as a male or female being outside of ourselves that we are trying to get to. For many of us it is easier to relate to God as a being similar to a human rather than an abstract concept because that is what we know. I believe the true intent of the spiritual path that I am on is to say God is within us. Our plight is to realize that fully within ourselves. I see some people get scared that they are being told they are not good enough or not perfect as they are. I believe everyone is; we just have to realize it. Thus this is the path of Self-Realization.

Now you may ask, how can we be content if we have not already realized our perfect state? We also have the right to stop judging what it means to be realized and let God decide. I don't think we have to know how close we are to ultimate realization nor can we make a judgment on the level of progress or distance from the goal. When you are pulling a nail out of a board you may not know how long the nail is or how hard it will be to pull it out. But if you keep trying, eventually it will come out.

As long as we are compelled to act, then we are trying to do something to fill a void. Just as the river always tries to return to the sea, I believe humans are always trying to become self-realized. Thus every action we take has that purpose, yet true enlightenment is an actionless state.

We come into being with egos when the soul identifies with the body. The physical science of operating that body in the simplest form requires food, water, breathing, and sleep. With that comes a proper balance of making enough money to supply those demands without so much stress to obstruct our breathing or time to take away from our sleep. And our egos crave much more.

A carpenter uses a hammer rather than the hammer controlling the carpenter. In the same manner we can learn to use our ego as a tool to support our aim towards self-realization rather than leading us in directions where we think our happiness comes from outside ourselves. So begins the process of seeking self-realization within and reducing outward activity.

Many yogis have been able to transcend beyond the need for food, breathing, or sleep using meditation techniques. Thus begins the journey beyond needing to take action to sustain the body. A greater layer of the ego dissolves as the soul no longer identifies with a body. That is when full contentment can reign. As we work through this process, if we can accept where we are without judgement, we can also feel a greater sense of contentment.

If God is within, why do some people feel they need a guru? When trying to learn to fly a plane if your intuition is perfect, you may be able to figure it out on your own. How many of us have such great intuition? You could also try playing with the controls until you get it right. With that method you might end up with a few crashes along the way and hopefully you live through them. Rather, you are going to find a teacher who can offer you a foundation of knowledge based from their expertise. From there you can go on to fly your own plane and create new models of planes to fly in different ways. I believe the guru intends to be used as a tool to get us to the place where we can fly on our own and connect directly with God. Here are a couple quotes from my guru that support that statement:

“For the guru is simply a channel for God’s power and wisdom. God is the true Guru.”—Paramhansa Yogananda

“The purpose of the guru is not to weaken your will. It is to teach you secrets of developing your inner power, until you can stand unshaken amidst the crash of breaking worlds.” —Paramhansa Yogananda

The final thing I have been hearing a lot is an inference that it does not matter what we do because everything is God. Yes, everything is God. Murder and delusion are also God. Yet those are not things most of us wish to aspire to. What we also seek on my path is the truth and the highest vibration or consciousness possible.

The other path towards Self-Realization is about three and a half feet long from the base of the spine to the spiritual eye (point between the eyebrows). Once we are able to direct all of our energy to the spiritual eye, the crown chakra opens up and we can become fully realized. 

Our actions can either draw our energy down the spine, around in each chakra or energy center, or up the spine. What we are trying to do on my path is take the most direct route to God appropriate for each individual. Thus what causes our energy to go down or get stuck in repetitive cycles or dependency on outside sustenance is not what supports drawing all of our energy into the center of the spine and up. Which actions cause what direction of energy is what you get to define for yourself.

“Nothing works for long in this world. When disillusionment ensues, people turn away to seek their fulfillment elsewhere. This is a roundabout way to God, but it, too, reaches toward Him at least, inasmuch as repeated disappointments do, eventually, turn one’s heart to Him.”—The Essence of the Bhagavad Gita as explained by Paramhansa Yogananda

What is your most direct route towards realizing God within?

Into the Self and Into All, We Become One

Come dance with me.

Come walk the tightrope with me

And fall with me.

Dive into me.

Clear the dust,

See the light.

Whirlpools fly away,

Resistance gone,

The path clears,

Energy flies up to the eye.

Through you I see me 

And we become God.

Energy rise,

Bubble at the point.

Hearts open,

Barriers gone.

Drop in deeper and deeper.

My soul feels you,

My soul loves you.

Embody the Coat or Be Your Naked Self?

Do you want to express where you are or where you are going? Do you want to embody a coat from the outside in or be your naked self?

While watching a dance performance a few months ago, my friend sitting next to me asked me if they were good dancers. After having watched many professional ballet companies from around the world perform my response was, "Well, not as refined as they could be." After taking a breath, I found the following words come out of my mouth, "But then they would not be as natural in their movements." 

After noticing many of the young girls from my ballet studio transform from what they called an "ugly duckling" to a beautiful swan, I have since changed my mind on that response. Once we line up with what we are trying to become, it will become natural.

The ballet dancer who is confident in her/his step, balanced on her toes, and naturally graceful in her movement is a relief to watch. At one ballet performance I noticed myself relax in my seat when the soloists switched from a new company member to one of the most seasoned performers of that company.

At a master workshop a few months ago with a modern dance teacher, he caught me off guard when he gave me the feedback to be more asymmetrical and not to always come back to center. He wanted me to express more of what really happens in life. He took me by surprise because for the last few years my life has only been about coming to and from center, both in ballet and in the spiritual path.

In some of the ballet classes in big cities the teachers advised students not to be so polite or graceful; "be real and let your passions and sexuality out," they would say. Because what do most people want? They want the real you, that is if they can handle it. Then they have energy they can work with to help themselves transform as well. If one is hiding their full self or being fake, there is no connection with other people. I am not saying we can't be polite or graceful, but audiences will feel it if it is true. When you truly feel that, you will take others there with you.

Since then I have been paying attention to people's reactions to different types of dance presentations. I have noticed many people have expressed a great sense of healing from dance that expresses their emotions of the moment. It helps them get in touch with themselves, understand themselves, express themselves, and accept themselves. For someone to be able to display other people's insides is a great skill. The ability for people to connect with themselves right where they are is very healing.

“The function of art is more than helping us to “get in touch with our feelings,” as the popular expression goes. It is to help us to refine those feelings.”—Swami Kriyananda, Art as a Hidden Message 

Every once in a while I used to drive all the way from Nevada City, CA to San Francisco, CA (about 3.5 hours away) early on a Saturday morning just to take a dance class that offered the opportunity to fully feel and express my present reality. It released all of the emotions I was feeling better than anything else I was doing at the time. Any stuck energy was moved and disappeared.

There is so much more than words can communicate and the mind comprehend. Yet the movement of the body can flow through the full spectrum within us. Leaving an experience that gets me to the heart of presence empties me out so I become clear, strong in myself, and a blank slate ready to move in any direction from there.

And where would one want to move from there? First, with full understanding of where and what we are working with, we can make choices of what we may want to shift. We can shift our emotions or behaviors by shifting the quality of our movement. 

If our movement tends to be soft because we are passive, we can consciously move with more firmness until it happens without thinking. If we tend to move in curved lines and have trouble achieving goals in life, maybe we want to practice moving in straighter lines. 

Besides the desire for balance, it is helpful to have the ability to cultivate all qualities of movement and character. This way we have choices in life to call on what we need to meet any moment.

Transformation of body alignment and the way I move has been so helpful for balancing out my emotions and giving me more options for handling life. There is an even greater more lasting joy that comes from adding a spiritual dimension.

There are specific body movements we can do to generate a more spiritual feeling. If we feel sad, raise our arms up and uplift our energy to uplift our consciousness. If we feel tired maybe our energy has been too scattered going outwards or being defined from the outside. In that case we can try to move from the base of the spine and up from there as if mimicking how we channel our energy in meditation. 

I would encourage one not to even stop there. Dancing is my favorite thing to do yet I have gotten bored or been dissatisfied with the energy of many dance companies and quit over and over again. It never had enough meaning to me.

After a couple years of being serious on the spiritual path, I brought dance into it. I have focused on feeling the Divine presence and dancing for God. I have wished for others to feel God while performing. There is a soft, sweet, and light quality I have never felt before from dance. There is a great love in my heart. It is like being taken to another dimension where you really do feel like you see God and forget you are dancing. 

I have carried this feeling into all forms of dance I have been doing in any environment. All the cares of this world drop away while I go into that true joy within. I have walked out of dance gatherings feeling my energy rising and having my hand stuck to my heart.

This is what I wish for you all; to completely feel the essence of yourself in the moment, to have the ability to transform that as you need to, and to feel the great joy of God.

You can have the opportunity to be guided through such a process August 15-17 at The Expanding Light Retreat in Northern California in a program I am putting together called The Dancer as a Channel: Using Dance and Movement as a Therapeutic and Healing Tool. For more information and to sign up, please visit: The Expanding Light Retreat

“There is in each of us a special song to be sung. None of us is more important, or less so, than any other. Our simple duty is to find our unique song deep within us, and to sing it to perfection. That perfection will come only when we have learned to sing our own soul-song to God, offering back to Him the inspiration of His love.”—Swami Kriyananda, Art as a Hidden Message

Commitment and Freedom: Same or Different?

A couple recent conversations within LoveWorks, a relationship training program, helped me get clear on my relationship with the term “commitment” and its connection with “freedom.” This exploration revealed some enriching ways to view commitment and freedom that I thought would be fun to share.

On a phone call we were discussing the idea of surrender. I asked for someone to explain to me what it is like to continue to surrender over a long period of time. I added I have only been in commitments for shorter periods of time. In response to my question, Sonika, one of the leaders of LoveWorks, suggested I reframe the question to something more uplifting like “What have I been committed to over a long period of time? What have I continually surrendered to?”

Right away I knew I had an answer to that question, God; seeking truth and tuning into God’s will. Many times I have gone into something feeling calm and right about it. Then after a few months, or a few years, felt calm and right about walking away, even if it was hard to leave.

The term commitment can be something fun; what you choose to commit to. It is those things that bring you freedom in the end. 

With continued questioning on the subject, I noticed I still had some hesitations about commitment. I figured that if I fully trust God and myself, those hesitations would go away. Even if challenges do come up, I could trust God is bringing me what I need and that God will help me recover from those blows. Those challenges have resulted in greater growth and expansion that I would not have had otherwise if I hesitated or sat on the sidelines.

I feel a sense of freedom when fully diving into a commitment. It kind of has the thrill of bungee jumping. Once you jump off of that platform or bridge, you have no choice but to trust. You have an idea, or a hope, of where you will end up, but you do not really know until you get there.

It is much easier for me to go into something that is a non-moving target. There is something to dive into; something that stays fully present as I dive deeper and deeper.

Once I have chosen what to commit to, I can be fully present with what is happening rather than divert attention to the process of deciding. More can be accomplished and more creative energy unleashed when that focus is there. I can have the freedom of not needing to think about other options.

Commitment causing focus, reminds me of Arjuna’s archery training. Arjuna is a character from the battle of the Mahabharata, and he symbolizes fiery self-control. His instructor Drona, who symbolizes habit, was challenging his students to strike off the head of a bird seated on the branch of a tree. He asked his students what they saw before releasing their bow. A typical answer was, “I see the bird, the tree, the passing clouds.” Drona knew they would all miss and he was right.

When it was Arjuna’s turn he responded saying he saw the head of the bird. Drona asked him if he saw anything else. His reply was, “Nothing else! Only the head of the bird.” Drona told him to release his bow. Arjuna was the only student who hit the target. He was fully committed to the task at hand. None of his focus swayed towards anything but his target, and thus he could accomplish his goal.

Commitment does not mean that you have to stick to just one thing either. If you are in a time of seeking it could hinder your progress to tie yourself down to one path. My life had been so focused on attaining goals that I had a hard time when I decided to backpack around the world for a year. Then I realized I could make a commitment to not having a plan. My commitment was to let the universe guide me in each moment. Having that clarity and direction gave me a sense of freedom.

When we resist commitment for the sake of wanting freedom, we actually are not free because we are in resistance or avoidance. We feel tension in our bodies. One woman described how her son is so afraid of commitment that when trying to make summer plans he keeps avoiding making commitments and then ends up having to do nothing.

When we make commitments that are lined up with God’s vision, there can be a greater freedom due to being in flow with the Divine. When you feel stuck in a commitment that does not feel nourishing, ask God to feed you. Ask God to direct you. Ask God to help you rise above these challenges and feel his light.

What happens on the material plane of life does not matter as much as what happens on the spiritual plane. It is through where we place our consciousness that true lasting joy comes. In the Bhagavad Gita Krishna (who symbolizes God) tells Arjuna, “What you relinquish on the material plane you will rediscover a thousand times more wonderfully in God.” A feeling of bondage can come with committing to the things of this world, but a sense of delight to committing to the gifts God gives us.

If you enjoy these types of explorations, you can join the relationship program called LoveWorks or my Bhagavad Gita study group that meets on Monday nights in Grass Valley, CA. For more info on the Gita class, see the description for Voyage of the Sacred Texts.

To understand more about the Bhagavad Gita and the Mahabharata, you can read the book The Essence of the Bhagavad Gita: Explained By Paramhansa Yogananda, As Remembered By His Disciple, Swami Kriyananda.

 

Energy Dance - Surrendering to God

This past weekend’s Energy Dance with Sonika Tinker and Christian Pedersen started with the video above. Right away it reminded me of the days I used to dance with a partner. I was never that trained, nor that courageous, nor quite that risque, but I am sure some of our experiences are the same.

You may ask, how can they do that? Well, you can’t think about it. Of course you have to focus on what you are doing but there is no space to question trust and if it is possible. 

I remember I used to run and jump on my partner while we were creating pieces without either of us knowing what would happen. I never used to think about it. I would just do it and let happen what happens. In reality, I knew he was not 100% trustworthy because he was still human and had injuries. Yet I trusted the divine that somehow it would all work out. We only ever fell once and did not get injured.

In that process of trust and openness, I was always amazed at what physical feats I would overcome and what we created. Coincidentally, after I got home from this past weekend I opened Elisabeth Haich’s book Sexual Energy and Yoga to the section where she talks about what it feels like to channel all of your sexual energy into creative energy:

“When a circus acrobat performs superhuman feats during his act, he experiences high spiritual rapture and joy. It is a well-known fact that some acrobats who risk their lives and those of their assistants during their act live ascetically like monks. The pleasure and thrill experienced in their performances is infinitely greater than in a brief sexual encounter.”

That must explain why some of my performances were the most thrilling thing I have ever done I my life!

Another piece of trust in this type of partner work is doing your part. You cannot always guarantee your partner will be able to perform their role or will get their hand onto your foot at the exact right timing. You can have trust that God will keep you safe. But you still have to stay focused and do your part to your best ability to make it easy and possible for your partner to execute their part.

These were such great reminders of my potential to have that trust and surrender. After watching I thought, “Wouldn’t it be great if I can apply these principles to daily life and to my meditation practice!?” 

• To not think so much, but just follow my inner guidance and trust it,
• To channel my energy into the creative process and overcoming human limitations,
• And to do my part to the best of my ability, and trust the rest will happen as desired by the Divine.

Paramhansa Yogananda said the path to fully realizing God within ourselves takes 25% of our effort, 25% from the blessings of our Guru, and 50% from the grace of God. But we must put 100% of our effort into that 25% in order for the whole system to work.

Wouldn’t it be great if we can just relax into our role in life and let God take care of the rest?

For fun, here are a couple of my past partnering salsa dances:

To skip the MC's intro talk, start this video at 2 minutes: